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Shattered

March 30, 2011

 

I snapped this photo in front of a sculpture at a local museum of modern art.  It is called the Firebird, and it is created by hundreds of mirrored glass fragments.

When I got home to take the photos off my camera and saw myself shattered this way, into the mirrored fragments , I felt I found a reflection of how I truly feel many days.

Wearing many hats, juggling all the balls, filling all the roles–however you want to put it, I feel dis-integrated. Disintegrated. Worn down. Falling apart.

Wife

Mother

Sister

Daughter

Writer

Blogger

Designer

Accountant

Cook

Housekeeper

Driver

Playmate

The list goes on  . . .

Some days I can manage all the pieces better than others.  Most I just do the best I can switching back and forth between the jobs as they come.

The problem, of course, is that my attention span grows smaller. My concentration grows weaker. My abilities are dis-integrated, too.

No one is getting all of me. Everyone is getting small parts.

But  . .

God  is a god that makes things whole –Jehovah Rapha.

May God, who puts all things together, makes all things whole, Who made a lasting mark through the sacrifice of Jesus, the sacrifice of blood that sealed the eternal covenant, Who led Jesus, our Great Shepherd, up and alive from the dead, 21 Now put you together, provide you with everything you need to please him, Make us into what gives him most pleasure, by means of the sacrifice of Jesus, the Messiah. All glory to Jesus forever and always! Oh, yes, yes, yes. –Hebrews 13:20-21 (The Message)

He will make me whole.

He will put me together.

He will provide me with everything I need to please him.

I just have to trust– having faith in the person of Jesus and hope in his promises.

I have to live in the moment of His grace–the Now Here rather than the nowhere. Watching in the little moments to be fully present.

Trusting him to put the pieces together–filling in for the gaps–until I am presented to Him whole.

_____________________________________________________________________________

For several years I have eyed the She Speaks Conference –right here in my own town.  Sponsored by Proverbs 31, the She Speaks Conference is about women connecting the hearts of women to the heart of our Father God,

I have watched scholarship opportunities come and go and wished I had offered something up. Today, I found Ann’s gentle nudge to those of us waiting in the wings.  I am stepping out, offering my broken cup.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. March 31, 2011 12:37 pm

    No One fills in our gaps like Jesus..thank you for sharing your heart.

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